


Two joysticks are better than one.

by Albme94



Category: SovietCyanide, SovietWomble - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anal toys, Ass stuff, Ball Sucking, Bcuz thats important too folks, Bidet talk, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Butt, Condom, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Cute Ending, Cyanide being dumb, Dad Jokes, Dickpicks, Eh more penis names, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy Ending, Gaming, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Nap buddies, Neck Kissing, Potential romance eyy, Rimming, Sarcasm, Sexting, Sleeping Together, Slow Burn, Smut, Snapchat, Soft Kisses, Soft soft, Sovietwomble fiction, Talking about cleaning for anal, Using a condom, Womble being shy, cock - Freeform, cute boys being cute, dick - Freeform, penis - Freeform, soft, soft hugs, zf clan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-18 18:00:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albme94/pseuds/Albme94
Summary: Syrup as lube?Cyanide special???Prostate examination??Oh boy.Dad jokes???Preparation x3What if they were to (/~\) (*\\\*) >////> kiss during a stream🥵🥵🥵(Meme, sorry not sorry^)





	1. Trust me, syrup isn't lube.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ///"Don't worry-- it... it happens and it'll go away, just lie down" he mumbled and waved his hand around.///
> 
> Syrup as lube?  
Cyanide special???  
Prostate examination??  
Oh boy.

"Oh yeah, Womble got fingered" Cyanide said with a smirk.  
"Fuck off" standard reaction by Womble.  
The entire chat giggles, Womble repeats 'fuck you's.'  
"What?" One say, the chat calming down.  
"Look you get to _my age_, sometimes, you gotta have a prostate exam, at your GP" Soviet explains as Cyanide wheezes in the background.  
  
Another chips in "**Your** age? We're the same age aren't we?"  
"Have you had one?" Soviet hopefully says.  
The other reply with "no"  
"So was it **just** me then?" He raised his voice, "yeah" the other laughed, everyone in chat laugh with him.  
"Fucking fingered by your doctor, thats it. Thats all that happened" Cyanide managed to say before getting lost in laughter again.  
"Fuck you~" Womble replied once more.

  
The ZF clan moved about and got ready to suck once more, Soviet hopes that Cyanide would let it be, but oh he was so wrong.  
A noise echoed in the background.  
One of the team members spoke up "who's messenger was that?"  
The noise continued with few breaks, "_seriously_ who's getting spammed?"  
"Ah, **fuck**\-- it's _me_..." Soviet looked at his phone 'Cy' had sent him first a picture, then several texts. He put his phone on silent.  
  
Or so he thought...  
The mission went as well as you'd assume.... bad, terrible if you may.  
A sudden sound startled the poor brit "oH _bloody_ hell! What the--"  
"**Alright.** Who's _dildo_ just went off?" Cyanide laughed, "stealth? Yours?"  
"Fuck no!"  
"_Wooomblee~_" his tone sweet as the cookies he ate earlier, Cyanide smirked.  
"It was my phone, you dickward, thought it was on silent."

  
He finally looked at the texts:  
"I bet this would look great up your--" *picture*  
_NOPE_.  
"I bet I could use syrup as lube, and I'd just lick--"  
_NO_.  
"imagine it Womble, you'd be tied up, completely submitted to me. Your ass cheeks just spread out like jam on a --"  
_**Fuck**_.

  
He looked down at the obvious bump. How the heck did Cy ALWAYS manage to get him this hard? Fucking ridiculous.  
  
  
The screen lit up, he could already feel the regret but he opened it up.  
Cy sat in his chair, hand down his trousers, biting his buttom lip. Pulling down and at the same time perking his perfectly dumb member, the head looking ready.  
  
"Fuck my life." He groaned, he could hear Cyanide exhale in his headset.  
Thank god he didn't stream, and _hopefully_ neither did Cy.  
  
"Is it your **mom** nagging you? Did you _finally_ give Lulu a phone?" The chat erupted with laughter, even Cy.  
  
"Very funny guys, **ha _ha_**, hilarious." He rolled his eyes, wishing he rolled his hips against _someone _instead.  
  
The usual hours went by, it was late and one by one the ZF clan said their goodbyes until it was only Cyanide and himself left.  
He could feel his dick twitch with interest, it had softened afterwards and he was wondering if Cy was going to do something.

  
"Well, I'm going to hit the sack--"  
"W-what?" A weak pathetic stutter came out.  
"Sleep. I'm going to _SLEEP_, _**my** god Soviet~_ You're such a pervert."  
"Oh no, yeah I knew that, but -oh yeah me too right uhuh." This wasn't how this usually went?  
"Byee~"  
"....bye"  
Cyanide disconnected.  
A few minutes went by and no messages, no video, no picture.. Nothing.  
  
"I don't want him _to_..." Soviet weakly said to himself, he shot down his computer.  
"I **don't** care, if I want to get off I can."  
He looked around his room "_alone_."

  
He wandered out and took Lulu for a night walk, took a shower; washing and feeling his hands glide over his bum. "Cyani-" he weakly moaned before he caught himself.  
He caught his reflection in the mirror, he looked hot and _bothered_.  
He turned off the shower and went into his room, some days Lulu was allowed in his bed, today... **She was not.**  
  
He looked at his phone again, nothing.  
"Fuck it." He groaned.  
  
"You awake?" He wrote, before deleting it, "did you really go to sleep?" No... too dumb.  
  
"So what dessert got you to log off?" Good enough, then he didn't seem _**desperate**_.

  
A few minutes went by, 'seen'

  
"_Seen_?? He left me on **_read!_ **You know what?? _Fuck_ that, **fuck him!**" He shouldn't have yelled out but goddamnit he was horny and upset!  
  
A soft knock on his door not a second later, "_oh great_" his neighbours probably heard him and though most of the city was cool with sexually fluid people; these seemed to be the 'ew rainbow ' people.

  
He wrapped himself in his morning robe, no need with boxers.  
He pulled up the door and froze.  
  
"I _mean_, yeah. **Fuck me.**.. for leaving you on read." He smirked.  
"_Cy_??" Womble gasped, the indian squeezed through and went inside the flat. "Hey Lulu~~" he leaned over and rubbed her belly.

  
"Close the door, will ya?" Cyanide smirked, his eyes not leaving the happy dog.  
"_Right_." Womble closed it and locked it on default, "**wait**, what are you doing _here_?"

  
Cyanide finally stood up, took off his shoes, jacket and walked behind the other.  
"_Well_..." he started as he put his hands on Womble's hips, earning a gasp from him, he pulled him closer and put his chin on the shoulder.  
"I thought I'd give you a Cyanide _**special~**_" his hand drifting down under the robe, grabbing his ass.

  
Soviet's face burned up, and all the blood went further down.  
"_Prostate exam_." He whispered.  
"Wh-wh-wha--" Womble tried, but Cy led him to his bedroom.

  
"Come on~" he purred, Soviet was white as a sheet, did this really? Was he going to?  
He stopped right before the bedroom door, he froze. Cyanide's smile disappeared "Womble?"  
_'I dont have any lube? Oh god, am I the bottom?? Am I even top worthy? I haven't even had... no, but Cy have.. so he's the top? Yes. Oh but I haven't even had anything up there! Well, that one buttplu--'_

  
"**Heey**.. _heey~_" Cy whispered while planting his hands and giving a stern shake to Soviet's shoulders, Womble realized his face was of one that was mortified.  
"I'm sorry, I thought you'd-- I _thought_ we would?" Cyanide tried, he looked flushed, face red and Soviet could feel his pulse beating fast towards his shoulders.  
"I mean-- if you rather just.. _sext_? We can, I'm sorry **if I--**"  
And for the first time in Soviet's life, he took charge of an impulsive thought.  
He grabbed the other's face and _kissed_ him, hard, but yet passionately.

  
They parted only to inhale and saliva hung between them.  
"Right, no, yeah to this." Soviet gently pushed Cyanide, closing the door behind them.  
"Yes to? **This?**" Cy confirmed.  
"Yes to--" Womble grabbed the indian and Cy replied with undressing himself as he gave small pecks around Soviet's neck.  
"Mmmh--"

  
He dropped his boxers and Soviet felt his face flush and he dropped his robes.  
"You were _naked_ under there..." Cy stated the obvious.  
"Just showered..."  
"Hmm"

  
The dim light from the street; shined on Soviet's body, Cy _traced_ his fingers down, he looked so focused.  
Cy lead him to the bed and leaned over him, never breaking eye contact, his fingers exploring and mouth hanging over Womble.  
He lingered before kissing him deep, adding tongue and caressing his butt, giving it a tiny squeeze.  
"--!" Soviet twitched and their bodies touched, dick to dick. They froze, swallowed, and watched eachother.

  
"_I dont have any lube_" Soviet shyfully added, he wanted to look away but Cy smiled and leaned closer to whisper "then I wont fuck you **today~**" he licked and sucked on his earlobe. Womble moaned and grabbed the sheet around him, aching his body up.  
"Theres three rules for anal anyways..."  
"Which is?" Womble smirked.

  
Cy kissed his Adam's apple "preparation"  
Kissed his right nipple "_preparation_"  
And belly button "oh _yeah_, and **preparation~"**  
  
They locked eyes as Cyanide ghosted over Womble's erect, _and painfully hard,_ member.  
"Ready?" He whispered, Womble nodded.  
First a lick, then _two_, around the **head**, down the _ridge_, lips over head, **suck**, down... _down_...  
"_Cy_!" He almost jerked his hips up, Cyanide started to pump and lick the dick as if it _truly_ was a lollipop.

  
Soviet's entire body burned and he wanted to say **screw lube and just fuck him.**  
His body spoke for him as he spread his legs instinctively and his cock pulsed beads of cum.  
He didn't even notice as Cy had sucked on his own fingers while his hands worked for him.  
"**_Fuck_**... you look so _good_ right now..." Cyanide mumbled, Womble could only gasp and gag on his own spit.  
Cy leaned down and licked under the sack, around a ball and _sucked_ on it, as if his life depended on it.

  
Womble had no idea what to do with his hands, he grabbed the Indian's hair and felt a playful _bite_; he smirked and pulled again.  
Cyanide put both his hand to work, his wet finger to rotate the balls and suddenly his tongue found it's way to the **rim**.  
  
Never in his life had Soviet felt so good, no amount of _masturbation_ or _toys_ could make him feel the pleasure he did now.

  
"**Oh _fuck_**, fuck **Cyanide** oh **God**\--"  
Cy knew what he had to do, he pushed his own hard dick up against Womble's, who was close to an orgasm, **and rubbed.**  
  
Soviet grabbed the sheets but Cyanide intertwined their fingers and rocked them both, moans and heavy breaths filled the room.

  
Weak pathetic sounds escaped Womble as he leaked slowly before being shot in the face with the other's. The moment Cyanide came, Womble gasped.  
His eyes got heavy and he leaned more into the bed, feeling Cy's weight shake and drip all over him, his face and lips.

  
"You're still?? -- Womble?"  
He could feel his erection still lingering  
"Don't _worry_\-- it... _it happens_ and it'll go away, just lie down" he mumbled and waved his hand around.  
He thought he felt the other lie down, but he felt lips _pounding_ up and down on his over _sensitive_ cock, and a sharp inhale escaped him, pulling him right out of his almost sleep.  
"Fuuaaahhh _Cyan**IDE**_\---" a few pumps and he shot the rest of his load down Cyanide's throat.  
  
They laid there for a while.

  
"That was... **_Good_**." Cyanide laughed _wholeheartedly_, he licked Womble's face.  
"Pff, what, what are you doing?" He giggled, pushing him away, "you got _something_\--" he kissed him and pulled him close, "_mmmhhhh_"  
"_Weak_." Cy smiled and playfully grabbed Soviet's butt again.  
  
"I can't _believe_ you left me on **read**."  
"_**I**_ can't believe _**you**_ got _so_ **bothered** by it, how long did you wait for me to text you?"

  
Soviet would die with that truth "nah, not long really... I walked Lulu, took a shower.. you know, normal stuff"  
"Uhuh, _sure~_" Cy smirked.  
  
Some time passed, minutes, an hour? Time flew by as they 'cuddled'  
"So... what now..?" Womble whispered.  
"Now?"  
"Yeah.."  
"Now we sleep, and **tomorrow **I'm going to buy you some damn lube so I can stick my fucking **dick** up that _**nice piece of ass!**_" He pulled up the covers and Womble had his standard 'girly' giggle.  
"Sounds good... Just don't use _syrup_."  
"No promises." He smiled.


	2. Sensitive as sugar in warm water.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //They laid there for a second, breathing deeply, their eyes said so much, but lips stayed quiet.//
> 
> The three rules of Anal:  
Preparation.  
Preparation  
And oh yeah, preparation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! I just want to specify that, although I'm using information that's about them, this is basically an AU. Like, yes now but also no?  
Like Cyanide got a gf, and got his business stuff and yadayada, so I'm not saying like fuck her or anything!  
So it's an au, I guess, she doesn't exist.  
Remember the Cry/Pewds fans? Who sent hate texts to Marzia? Like bro, no.  
Okay! Enjoy the Smut I wrote !

"**\---!!!?**" A sharp inhale and Cyanide shot up from bed, cold sweat dripping from his nude body. He looked down beside him, Womble slept silently; soft smile drafted over his face.

"He's... _he's a_... oh _fuck_. **Fuck**." Cyanide carefully went out the room, picked up his clothes as he went.

He whispered good morning to Lulu and left a note on the table, in case Wombe woke up before he was back.

~~~

_An hour_ went by and Cy returned, Soviet still in deep sleep. He carefully went back under the covers and went back to sleep.

~~~

Lulu started to scratch on the door and whine, Womble returned the whines with his own. Cyanide had never really seen Womble like this..

But then again he'd never kissed _**or...** _done any of those _things_ with him.

Soviet suddenly flung his torso up, hair sticking everywhere, "_morning sunshine~"_ Cyanide snickered, "mornin..." he mumbled back.

Suddenly he straightened up and looked quickly to his side, eyes wide and yelped as he fell backwards out of bed.

"_**Cy?!**_" His voice cracked.

"_What-_" the other leaned over to look at him "did you think I was a _dream_?"

"I... **uh**..." Womble's face flushed up as he couldn't get out anymore words, he gestured to the door and the bed, Cyanide and himself.

"**Yep**. You were _sad_ I didn't _text_ you.. I came here, sucked your dick, kissed you and then we snuggled and fell _asleep~_" the voice as sweet as a triple caramel latte.

"Coman, you gotta walk and feed Lulu-" he reached for the other, he helped him up but stopped him right before he left the room.

"What?" Womble's voice weak, "aren't you gonna out on **pants** at least?" He playfully pinched the exposed butt.

"_Cy!_ Oh **my** _Gh_\--!" He gasped and quickly put on pants and a hoodie, "you can't just--"

Cyanide leaned closer and whispered "I _licked_ your asshole yesterday. I'm pretty sure I can pinch you too"

Lulu barked and ran in circles as Womble finally left his bedroom, feeding her and looking suspicious at his 'guest', who didn't do anything than sit in the sofa and look at his phone.

"I'm gonna--"

"_Yeah yeah, I'll be here._"

Soviet tried his best not to think about what happened yesterday, he just couldn't believe it.

~~~

Half an hour and he returned to his flat, and just like he said... Cyanide laid on the sofa, relaxing.

Lulu was exhausted and drank some water before going into the office to nap.

"Hungry?" Womble tried, "not really."

"**What**. But you're _always_ hungry?! What's up?" Womble couldn't hide his concern.

"Funny you should _ask~_"

'Uh-oh, he knew _**that**_ tone'

"Come with me~"

"_What?_ Into my **own** _bedroom_?" He sarcastically said, Cyanide sighed and grabbed the other's hand and led way. "Close your eyes "

"You do know, _the last time_ you told me to do that, you--"

"**I know** _I know_ but-- _just_... Close your eyes~"

"Dear god, _ok_..."

He was led in, he heard the door close. Cyanide put something around his eyes, Womble tried to resist but Cy had his voice _on_ and he knew he was curious enough to submit... _for now._

"_Cy_ **what** are you doing--"

He felt his hoodie pulled off, pants slowly pushed down; he felt ridiculously exposed.

He could hear the Indian breathe, shaky and his hands held his own.

A while went by and he heard Cyanide undress himself, just boxer, and then he hugged him.

He whispered _softly_ into the brit's ear, his voice was concerned, warm and caring. He held him tight and he could feel the other smile at his answer.

"Do you trust me?"

"What, does that make me _Jasmine_?"

Cyanide scoffed, "you're making this hard..."

"Well I sure **hope** so" he smirked.

"_Just_-" he leaned over Womble and pulled off the blindfold "relax, ok?"

"Yeah alright..." Womble submitted and laid down on the bed.

Cyanide leaned closer and planted soft kisses down Soviet's jawline, neck, chest and lingered at a nipple. Small gasps and quick breaths turned into soft moans the longer Cyanide flicked and licked, he looked up "you good?"

Womble made a noise that sounded like a keyboard smash and nodded, Cy continued as he pulled out a lube and put them on his fingers.

"**Wait**. _**Wait**_ where did you get tha**A**_aa---ah-_" Womble got cut off as the index finger carefully breached the tight hole, "_relaaax~~_" Cy hummed as he moved further in and moved it gently.

He rubbed his thumb at the _perineum_ spot, Womble seemed lost at the sensation, his legs twitched as Cy added _another_ digit; scissoring in every direction and deeper, eventually adding a third, he glossed over the prostate.

If he thought he'd heard Soviet's soundboard yesterday? Well he was in for a surprise!

The second Womble opened his mouth to moan, _close to what porn sounds like,_ but goddamn... **so** much better; that moment Cy's _member_ woke up 110% and he didn't even hesitate before he deep throated Womble's equally hard cock.

Thumb _rubbing_, fingers moving around, lips **sucking**, tongue _**licking**_ and Cyanide's eyes were trained on Womble.

Soviet had grabbed his inner thigh and hair as Cy went to town, he really didn't know what to do with his _hands_.

The brit had found out one 'solo session' that lifting one leg, while rubbing or grabbing his own inner thigh-- _was really good. _He didn't know what it was but, heck. If only Cyanide could do that, he'd probably loose it.

"_Why_ do you do that?" Cy said with a _**pop**_ as he left the sensitive head alone.

"Mmmh, d-do what?" Soviet was sure his face was as hot as if he had fever.

Cyanide replaced Womble's with his own hand, he rubbed in circles and watched the other crumble.

"_Aah~_" Cy smirked and leaned down and placed wet kisses before leaving a hickey next to the member.

"_C-**Cyani**\--_"

"_Aah**fuck**_, _yes_, say my name"

"**Fuck me**" Womble grabbed Cyanide's hair, "what?" The indian replied, shocked at the sudden hint of dominance.

"**Fuck**." Womble looked deep into the others eyes "**me**. _Right now_."

"**_Yes sir~_**" he purred and put on a condom as he lubed up the entrance, his finger circling the rim and going past it, _teasing_.

"_Cyanide_, fuck-- _just_ \--" Womble tried to push himself onto Cy but he got stopped.

"_**Preparation**_, _preparation_\--" Cyanide teased, "**preparation**" they said in unison, Womble more mocking.

"We're going _slow_, remember?" Cyanide pressed his head against the rim and rubbed, dipping it _almost_ in a few times before pushing the head past the rim and out. "You ok?" A hand caressing Womble's face, pushing away hair. "Y-yeah, _I'm good_. Yea"

Cyanide slowly pushed himself in, as the head flicked the prostate, Womble made a choked sound, he filled him completely.

They laid there for a second, breathing deeply, _their eyes said so much, but lips stayed quiet._

Pulling himself out and slowly in, he worked up a pace; Soviet tried to hide his face with his hand, but Cy gently arched his back towards him, kissing him softly as he went faster.

He never believed he would be able to hear Womble's moans so close, one thing was over skype _accidentally_, or snapchat... but this... it was more intimate than anything he's ever done, and by the **holy cow**\-- he was gonna do it right for Womble.

They went on for a while, Womble was the first to shoot his load, with _no warning_, but it seemed like it caught him by surprise too, Cyanide liked how flushed and embarrassed he got, he grabbed the dick and stroked him out; _each_ move got Womble to tighten and not soon after Cyanide came as well.

He rode out his own, making sure he got a good view of _dat ass._

Pulling out and wrapping the condom up, he laid down next to Womble who was almost passed out.

"Twhat- wahs--" Soviet tried, "_shhh_~" Cy kissed him "nap, then talk "

"Mmnap, myeah"

And they went out like a candle in the shower, poof.

They had finally fulfilled the desire they yearned for... for so so long.


	3. The key is for emergencies, not booty calls..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //"This is horrible" Soviet mumbled to himself at the crisp night, Lulu ran and sniffed the nearest lamppost.
> 
> Cyanide was setting the rest up and Womble was walking around with a buttplug to 'prepare'. It was difficult to walk, but he had to pretend like nothing.//
> 
> WHATS IN THE BOX?!  
Be a man!  
Showering is important.  
Pizza.  
Oh yes a wall and some kisses yass

"_You know_ I gave you that key for _emergencies_, right? Not for you to randomly show up." Soviet didn't turn around to look at the man in his doorway, he was busy editing his next YouTube video.

"_**But**_ I brought you _pizza-_"

"_Really_, And how much is **left** after you ate on your way here?" His tone was flat. 

"I just ate a _feeeew_..." Cyanide sounded like he had his tail between his legs.

"Right. Well as you can see I'm quite busy so--"

Womble got cut of as the pizza box got dropped on his keyboard, he sighed and looked up. 

Cyanide looked serious but quickly smiled sweetly "_here you go~_"

Womble _narrowed_ his eyes and opened the box and surprise! It contained _three_ slices of a pizza.

"Wow, that's more than I expected."

"What's with you today?" Cy nudged him, voice concerned.

"Nothing."

The indian picked up a slice, turned Womble around in his chair and made an airplane sound.

"No, _nooo_ stop-- I'm not a child Cy--"

"_**N**_nYY**YOOOMMM**MMM_MM_" Cyanide didn't listen as he moved the slice in loops and stopped in front of his lips "say _aAaaa_-"

"_**Unlike**_ you, I dont have a _food fetish_. I'm not into being fed like I'm _a--_"

Cyanide took his chances and pushed the food in, "Cy!" Womble grabbed the pizza from him, "_aww_" 

"Fine I'll eat, _honestly_. What's with you?"

"What's with **YOU**"

"Me?? I'm fine, I'm just _working_!"

"**Fine! I'll leave!**" He flung his hands in the air and left the room, not slamming the front door due to Lulu, but _oh he wanted to!_

"_Cy_-Cyanide!" Womble put down his pizza and ran after him, luckily he caught him before he left into the street.

"_I'm sorry, Cyanide_, I'm just stressed, I didn't mean to--" Soviet got cut off with a deep kiss, tongue forcing itself in _and_ down his throat. He got pushed against the building, Womble should catch himself before any neighbours saw but he was too gone.

A soft moan escaped his lips as Cyanide parted, he stood there flustered and touching his lips.

"_Cyanide!_" He shout whispered and slapped the other's arm, "don't do _that_ here! I have nosy neighbours!!" 

"_Coman~_ a little thrill? I bet we could do it in my car too~"

Womble giggled but caught himself, "come back inside--"

"_Alright_" Cyanide tugged at Soviet's trousers "_nono_-_**no**_**Noo** I meant, oh you **know** what I meant-- stop that!" He laughed, Cyanide opened the door and they went inside.

"You absolute bafoon" 

"Eh, I'd rather you call me _daddy_"

"Oh god"

"**Good afternoon**" a neighbour popped their head out the door, Womble almost shrieked; Cyanide caught him from falling down the stairs, after composing himself he added a weak 'Hello mrs.-' 

"Who's _this_ young man? I've seen him here before but-" she flirted with Cyanide, like old women do. Cy smirked and shook her hand softly, said his name and confirmed their friendship and work relationship.

The old woman smirked and wished them a good night, as she closed the door she added "_oh_, and be a dear not to _moan_ so deep into the night~"

Womble froze, his entire body was an icicle and his soul left.

Cyanide snorted and waved the woman bye before dragging the shell of a man back inside.

"Oh _god_..."

"Its not that bad, coman"

"**Oh my god**, the sweet old lady _said_\--"

"I mean, it could've been worse, what of it was your family who heard?"

"_**O**h Go**D**_ Cyanide! You're not helping! Ahh! This is making me more stressed **fuck**" he threw his hands up before sitting down on the sofa and buried his face in a pillow "_IhateMyLife_" he mumbled.

Cyanide leaned over and sat on his lap, he put one hand behind his head and the other placing Soviet's hand on Cy's back.

"Cmere~" the dark haired man pulled the other in for a sweet short peck, before nuzzling into the neck.

"_Wait-_-you know I'm ti_**CK-**_-"

Cyanide blew raspberries into his neck and Soviet _shrieked_, followed by laughter as the tickling went to further places, under the arms, sides.

Womble had tears in his eyes and decided to use his body weight and tip Cy over, they fell onto the floor laughing.

"_Oh God_, I almost died" 

"Drama queen" Cy snorted.

Lulu came over and Womble picked her up while still pining Cy to the floor, he didnt even notice as the Indian stroked his legs before he cupped him through his joggers.

"Cy! I'm holding _Lulu_ " his face the colour of the sun.

"And I'm **holding** you" he gave a squeeze.

"Besides, I _really_ like it that you're on top, gives me a great view... _oh_"

Womble sat Lulu down "what?"

"I have the best plan, first get off--"

"You mean off you or get _off_ off?" He teased.

"Oh you'll get off off.. if you just get off me, and then I'll help you get off off"

"Please stop saying the word off, it's broken now."

"Would you say it sounded..."

"Noo dont say--!"

"..._**off**_?"

"You dick."

~~~

Cyanide had left Soviet to work as he gathered some _"crucial items",_ he returned almost two hours later, but he assumed Cy did what he had to and then ate and **forgot** about the whole thing.

~~~

"_I'm baaaack~_" Cy singsonged as he opened the door.

"Its an **emergency** key, Cy. Ring the doorbell like any _normal_ person would do--"

"For all I know! You could've been stuck inside the _bathroom_... _**AGAIN!**_" 

"Sod off! " he laughed, "so what's this then?"

"First off, I met the _old woman_ again--"

"_Nooooo_" Soviet buried his face in his hands, recalling the embarrassment.

"**And** she was very nice and told me _nice_ things about you-"

"_Oh God-"_

"and said it was ABOUT TIME, you had _someone_ over... and then she _winked_."

"You're _shitting_ me."

Cyanide shook his head, he looked rather flushed himself.

"What's that _klingon_ word for, 'today is a good day to die'? Because I feel it."

"_Anyways_ I'm sleeping over, no surprise, I got some stuff and then tomorrow we are _buuuusyyyy~~_" he winked and added 'bowchickabowow' as he made sexual gestures.

"We also have a **ZF stream** tomorrow"

Cyanide stopped, thought and pulled up Womble "we better get started then~"

He led him to the bathroom with the bag, he pulled up a box. "You're gonna make me say it, arent you" Womble sighed, Cy smiling.

Soviet inhaled before exhaling "**WHATS IN THE BOOOX!?!**" 

Cyanide burst out laughing "_yessss!_"

"No but seriously, what's in the box" he tried to peak but got caught by surprise as his pants got yanked down.

"Oh, you thought we were _intimate_ before? Ho ho, no. **Now**. We're getting intimate~" he pulled out a _bidet_ that can be screwed on the shower head.

"Uh, uhm, what, uh-" Womble pushed his fingers through his hair.

"Let's get down to _business_, to defeat--" he slapped Soviet's butt "the _**buns**_"

~~

Cyanide prepared the shower and gestured Soviet to undress, he did so himself.

"I've done **research**, and I'm **confident** we'll pull through."

"I dont know what we're _even_ doing"

Cyanide was taken aback "you'd just undress _when_ and _wherever_ I'd say, wouldn't you?"

"What? **No!**"

"_Oh_ **_my_** God."

"No, stop-"

"My dick is the flute and you're the rat, amazing"

"Shut it you _cuck_" he giggled and playfully pushed Cy.

"Bend over, imma apply this thing-" he held up the metal that was connected to the shower "- and _add_ some lube-" he held up the bottle that said 'anal lube'

"- and put it up your butt... Turn on the water, you'll take the water, tell me when it gets too much... _clench_ those beautiful. Round, peachy, perfect for _biting_\--" 

"**Cyanide**"

"Right " he cleared his throat "clench your butt, shake, and let _Niagara falls_ down the toilet. And this will go on, until nothing but water comes out. Then it's my turn!" Cyanide jazzhands and smiled as if he'd presented the best idea in the whole world.

"Right. Ok. But, why? I mean, I know _why_, but why, what are your plans?"

"Ah!" He held up his finger close to Soviet's face "if I tell you now, you'll back out, so it's a surprise. **But ofc**, if you don't want to after I tell you, I'll either try to appeal the hot, sexy, _delicious_ reason for it, or! Just try something else."

"Sounds good, so uh _how_-"

Cy gestured him down on his knees, he held his head a few cm away from his dick "_wow_ you look great down there... **anyways!**" He cleared his throat and continued with the plan.

Womble wasn't _**all**_ for the feeling of water being pushed up his butt, _although_ it was oddly pleasing, and like Cy said... this was more intimate than anything, **ever**.

Cyanide seemed to have the same feeling over the whole washing part but even if his face said _'its necessary but I dont like it_', his dick twitched and got harder, he could conclude that it was because Womble didn't _know_ how to push the bidet in... so Cy had to lube it up and do it for him.... **everytime**... which was _embarrassing_ but kinda, _sexy_?

After they were clean inside, they crammed into the small shower, _Cyanide's idea_, to wash the 'outside'.

They basically rubbed eachother off a few times, Womble even came from the _friction_ and Cyanide _moaned_. If they weren't so hot and bothered by the feeling they'd probably point out how 'weak' and 'pathetic' it must've looked.

~~

They laid on the bed, towels around "I need to walk Lulu..." 

"Okay, but a proposal before you go"

Womble crooked an eyebrow.

~(*-*~)

(~*-*)~

"This is horrible" Soviet mumbled to himself at the crisp night, Lulu ran and sniffed the nearest lamppost.

Cyanide was setting the rest up and Womble was walking around with a buttplug to 'prepare'. It was difficult to walk, but he had to pretend like nothing.

He came back and got Lulu settled before opening his bedroom door.

"**Oh god**... Cyanide what is all of this?"

"You like?" He smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehehehehe >:)
> 
> Btw the klingon word for it is "Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam"
> 
> Did you like my dad joke with the buns? :))) or did it seem a bit.... off for you? ;)


	4. A funky fetish: Eggplant and Nutella...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //"Womble"  
"Mmyea?"  
"What's the safety word?"  
"Oh god, are we really using a--"//
> 
> Nutella?   
Pringles??  
Rice cake?  
Bananas??  
Food puns?????

**"Oh god... Cyanide what is all of this?"**   
** "You like?" He smirked.**

  
  
On the bed laid Cyanide _naked_, lube and some toys next to him. In his mouth he had the cold pizza.  
"Do you want me to heat it up?" Soviet asked, "_uh_ the pizza, I _meant_ the pizza--"  
Cy took it out and put it back into the box "ah that's _sanitary_.." Womble sighed, Cyanide got up and reached between Soviet's legs and moved the plug, a loud gasp escaped Womble.  
"Ready?"   
"As I'll ever be I guess" he tried to compose himself even though Cyanide was moving the plug around, he got naked quickly and tried to hold the plug in as good as he could.

  
"Do this position... _riiight_ here~" Cy said in a voice as sweet as four spoons of sugar in a earl grey tea cup. Womble did as gestured.  
"**Okay**, _**imagine**_ me as your _teacher_, pay attention to **what-_ever_-I-am-_doing_**... ok?"  
  
"Why are you talking to me like I don't understand you?"  
"Because you _probably_ wont pay attention to **MEEE**" Cyanide moved the plug around as he spoke, Womble gasping and eventually slightly pushing him off.

"**are** you ready _Freddie_-"  
"_Good_ lord, have you ALREADY forgotten who I am? You're like a **fu**CK--!!"  
Cyanide didn't have anymore patience, he needed that _sweet booty._  
  
He pumped Soviet's dick as if he was a ketchup bottle low on ketchup, minus the _hitting_ the butt....

  
For each pull, he yanked the plug in the opposite direction; Womble whined at the sensation, almost painful but so satisfying.  
The Indian pulled out the plug and replaced it with his tongue, he swirled around the rim before _licking_ him out like he was the last crushed pringle pieces in the can.

  
  
Spreading the cheeks he got a good hit on the _prostate_, massaging it as he gently rolled the balls; Soviet was a drooling mess, no words **only** moans. A mixture of "ah, **fuck**, _Cyanide_, oh **my**\--, cy, **god**, _**ah**_" 

  
"_Womble_"  
"Mmyea?"  
"What's the _safety_ word?"  
"**Oh god**, are we really using _a--_"  
"What's the **worddddd**"  
"The _bird_ is the word."  
...  
....  
.....  
"....is _that_ your saf--"  
"**No**, uh _eggplant_"  
"_**Pff**_ alright"

  
Cyanide rubbed his dick around the opening as he slid in the silicone wrapped member past the open and wide hole; he could feel himself inch closer and slowly rubbing the secret spot until he hit the maximum length.  
  
"Womble?"  
"Yea?" Soviet exhaled, face sweating and breath shaking.  
Cyanide leaned closer until he came up to Soviet's ear _"I am speed"_ he whispered seductively, and before Womble had any time to react, Cy sped up and every coherent thought and word Womble might have was lost in a sea of moans, grunts, name saying and heavy breathing.  
  
Cyanide smiled as he softly grabbed the other's hair, playfully yanking at it; earning a few deep moans "_aah_**hh--s_s_**_hit_\---" Soviet gasped.  
Cyanide was close, so ready to _pop_, he pulled out and gestured Womble to lay on his back, before entering him again.  
Soviet grabbed his Indian friend, burying his nails into the thigh before feeling all tension leave his body as Cy started the pace again.  
Within a few movements Cy came _surprisingly_ so did Womble, both rode it out and didn't talk for a while, as if their speech left with the orgasm.  
  
"_Stop_... **licking**.. it up--" Womble grabbed Cyanide's hair and gave it a tug.  
"Oooh~ Kinky~" he looked up from the chest he was snuggling.  
Soviet rolled his eyes, "am I _always_ gonna be the bottom?" His voice half sarcastic, half serious.

  
"**Always**? _No_... I mean, I thought you could do me in like the **tight** doughnut hole I am"  
"Oh my god"  
"Maybe you can smear **_nutella_** over my huge _badon-_-"  
"_**Iiiiiii**_ dont have a food fetish--"  
"Its not a feti--"  
"Fine a _kink_" Womble rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out.  
"That tongue is gonna get to work" Cy leaned closer to suck on it, "its gonna lick all my naturally made nu--"  
"**EGGPLANT EGGPLANT!!**" Womble screamed and placed his palm over Cy's mouth "eggplant" he said carefully, looking horrified; the other smiling widely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will not apologise for my GENIUS food explanations, that I keep making Cyanide say.  
It's just.... too fun.  
I can apologise for the nutella.  
I'm sorry. :c
> 
> I also had a writers block over a scene I ended up scrapping, after I had to GOOGLE a position and then ask people on Whisper if it was possible and they said no so... eheh here we are.


	5. "Do you speak eye contact? No? Then why are we staring at each other??" - Cyanide, probably.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> //"No buts--"  
"Hehe butts"  
Soviet turned around and sighed, Cy felt the defeat and sunk his head and started walking out the door.//
> 
> Soft.  
Warm.  
Comfortable.  
Butts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seen Sherlock BBC? Irene Adler's message sound? The moan?
> 
> Yeeeee:))

"I have been _shot_ in the **anus**" Cyanide declared.  
"_Come here_, where are you?" Womble crawled towards Cyanide's character.  
"I'm fine, I'm _bandaging_ my anus"  
Womble crawled all the way up and observed the situation.

  
"I just need someone to shove a morphine up my butt" Cyanide whined, feeling slightly warm while he rememberd the _weeks_ before.  
  
"Sit still, sit _still-_" Womble helped, the characters got into a _semi sexual_ position.  
"Its fine, it's fine I'm good I'm good" Cyanide tried to say as Womble kept putting morphine in him.  
"_Nononono_\- **more** morphine" Soviet added the 3rd, "we _gucci-_" the Indian man tried again, voice faking a drunk voice.  
  
"We've got to-- **OW**"  
"Stay still, _stay still-_" Soviet added the 4th, as Cyanide was stuck in place.  
"**How much fucking--?**" Cyanide started  
"Sit still-"  
"_NO!_" Cyanide ran away before Soviet added the 5th.  
"I don't wanna _**OD**_ man-" his voice hitting the high note.

  
"You **need** your medication-!" Womble ran after him, Cyanide yelling "_**NO!**_"  
Trying to shake him off "**I DONT WANT ANYMORE**"  
"**YOU** NEED YOUR MEDICA--" Soviet playfully scream after him.  
"_NO, FUCK OFF_"  
"Come back here~~"  
"I DONT WANT-"  
  
They run around for a few minutes, Cyanide managed to run away from the _psycho_ medic.  
  
"Never gonna get me now" Cyanide calmly said, "_I'm in my safe space_"  
Womble walks up to the tanks around the house, and under one lies Cyanide.  
"_Really_?" He says, "go away" answer Cyainde in a semi sad voice.  
"You're gonna hide under the building like a _house cat_?" Soviet giggled.  
"Yes... I mean **meow**"  
"_Uhuh_, so just for clarification... You're a --"  
"No don't--"  
"_**Pussy**_." Womble said calmly and sternly into the microphone.  
Cyanide whined and eventually got out, "_dont touch me_" his character circled Womble's.

  
***~moan~***

  
"_Alright_, who's watching _porn_?" one of the team mates asked, "**sorry**, _**sorry**_, my new notification sound." Womble said flustered.  
"Was that a_\--_"  
"_A moan,_ yes, **it was**." Soviet deadpanned, Cyanide giggled in the background.  
"_Uh_... whatever you want Soviet _but_\--"  
"**No**, _**no**_, nO, its Cy."  
"_**What!?**_" Edberg pitched in, Cyanide laughing like a madman, wheezing "I cant breathe-- I'm _crying_!!"  
"_NO **NO** NO, **NOT** WHAT I MEANT **NO**\--_"

  
"_Oh god_, I don't need to _know_ what you _two are doing_" Stealth said and added a _shiver_ to the voice.  
"**What**" Cy stopped laughing, Womble feeling a lump in his throat.  
"**Ex_CUSE_ YOU**, I sound _much_ better than her!"  
The clan laughed "tell them Womble"  
"Oh _fuck_ off"  
  
***moan* **

  
"_Womble_, its distracting-- I cant shoot the enemy and _**THEN**_ have the enemy moan"  
"_Hehehe_, right--**right**, because _that_ would be drawing the line"  
  
Cy: fuck, that was close oh god.  
Womble: yeah... fuck you for the moan  
Cy: which moan? 😏  
Womble: fuck off.

  
** ~~~~~**

  
  
"Hey..."  
...  
.....  
"_Heeeeey~_" Cyanide gently pushed himself off the edge of the chair and leaned over the other's shoulders.  
"_Hm?_"  
"Pay attention to _meeeee~~_"  
"Cant. Working."  
"**But--**"  
"_No_ buts--"  
"Hehe butts"  
Soviet turned around and _sighed_, Cy felt the defeat and sunk his head and started walking out the door.

  
...  
....

  
"_Wait-_" Womble reached and Cy was already halfway back, leaning down. "**Kiss me**"  
"_W-_what?"  
"You _heard_ me" he closed the distance and their lips met, Cy put his fingers through Womble's hair as Soviet did his.  
Everything was silent, it was calm and comforting, the only sound was the humming Womble made as Cyanide parted.  
  
"_Working?_" Cy repeated weakly, Womble looked back at the screen; the next project was **30%** done and he _needed_ to add more text. He looked back at the hopeful Indian "_naah_" he casually waved his hand as he got up and led the other to the bed.  
  
This time he was leaning over Cy, carefully pulling at his shirt and pushing his hands under it, _feeling_ the warm skin.  
They didn't say anything after this, they looked at eachother, shyly smiled and their eyes said it all.  
  
_Shirts_ on the floor, _pants_ slowly getting pulled off... kissing heavily and grabbing hair and shoulders.  
Womble leaned down on the other's chest and held Cy, and Cyanide held him back.

  
They lay there for a while, listening to eachother breathe, eventually falling asleep.  
**Hours** pass, _half a day_ pass, luckily this was one of those days where Womble's mum had Lulu; so he had no reason to wake up and do things.

The silence was broken by a warm voice.  
  
"This is nice" Cyanide suddenly says, Womble isnt fully awake, or sure he even heard him right.  
"_Mmmm_....what?" He mumble back, trying to look up at him.  
Cyanide smile and exhale "_this is nice_." He repeats, this time with a sweeter smile.  
Soviet feel his body react, face warm, pulse sonic, he cant help but smile back "**yeah**... this is nice."

  
Womble reach up behind Cy's head and push him down, he doesn't say anything.  
He looks so _vulnerable_, lips apart, eyelids half down, eyes watching Cyanide's lips; _licking_ his own.  
They close their eyes and share a long deep kiss, while cuddling softly.  
  
**_"Cy..."_**  
**_ "Yeah..."_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this tiny fic series, maybe I'll write more in this AU? But i got some other ideas that wont fit into this soft soft *coughporncough* soft AU... soooo  
I hoped you liked it :))

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, heya! Remember me? :)  
I just got this fun little idea and heeyyy look~~ a nice lengthy fic!  
  
Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading ♡


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